Feminism today is going after “nice guys”–men that see themselves as nerds who “deserve” a beautiful girl but feel short-changed by women’s “love of bad boys.” Feminism chooses this over pursuing “ass-grabbers.”
The reason for this is that though our culture at one time did not look down on ass-grabbers, it does now. But our culture does not yet sufficiently look down upon self-proclaimed “nice guys,” and they are one of the most dangerous sources of misogyny for women today. Feminists understand that though misogyny is absolutely a structural disease infesting every corner of society, we now have the most to gain from attacking so-called “nice guys;” the situation in the country changed, so the strategy of the feminist movement changed.
In the same way, bisexuals’ most dangerous source of victimization was once explicitly homophobic: society-sanctioned violence against bisexuals, lesbians, and gay men and then a society that ignored the HIV epidemic. Those things are changing, and the society at large is very quickly coming to a consensus that homophobia is wrong and to be shunned. The situation has changed.
There are those that say that all of the problems Gender and Sexual Minority (GSM) people face solely originate from homophobic religious people–that if we all simply stick our noses up at such people in unison until the end of time, all goals of the GSM movement will be magically achieved.
But that does not seem to be true for the problems uniquely faced by bisexuals.
Bisexuals suffer homophobia and biphobia. As the terror of homophobia recedes into history, distinctive biphobia becomes more visible, and its societal consequences are shown to be quite egregious. And biphobia originates both in the straight and gay communities.
Some bisexuals find it difficult to persuade lesbians and gay men biphobia exists at all. Often lesbians and gay men believe or assume that bisexuals have at least some “straight privilege,” and lesbians and gay men are often resistant to evidence that shows if bisexuals benefit from any straight privilege, that privilege’s effect is clearly and strongly outweighed by the societal effects of biphobia.
This is quite a shame because lesbians and gay men have become the gatekeepers of many GSM safe spaces, both physical and virtual. If lesbians and gay men are not partners in the fight against biphobia, then bisexuals lose access to many safe spaces that bisexuals had a hand in creating.
The fact of the matter is that bisexuals would gain so much from the lesbian and gay communities’ empathy and support. Today, bisexuals often first come out to the lesbian and gay communities expecting to find comfort, acceptance, and safety, but too often we find a cold welcome, often encountering our first explicitly biphobic interactions.
Bisexuals often encounter some of the worst biphobia in the places and among the people to which we retreated to find comfort and acceptance within a society that does not accept us. When we left the straight community and entered the so-called LGBT one, we only found the same hurtful ideas but expressed with looser tongues.
There are those that say if bisexuals aren’t happy with today’s GSM spaces, bisexuals should build our own safe spaces independent of existing LGBT safe spaces. I am not opposed to bisexuals building new safe spaces for ourselves alone; indeed I feel such safe spaces are necessary for our future.
But the fact of the matter is that the LGBT movement has already built a huge network of “safe spaces” for lesbians and gay men. If those safe spaces could also function as bisexual safe spaces, bisexuals would gain a world and a half compared to what we have now.